Wednesday, March 11, 2009

We often perpetuate patterns that we repeat without intent or consent. We tend to mimic behavior that has been modeled for us, thinking that it is normal. Whether or not our behaviors or patterns or choices, conscious or unconscious, actually make our lives better, is another consideration entirely.

And it’s one I’ve been thinking about lately as I examine my work patterns. I’ve fallen into a bit of a trap of complain, suffer, get exhausted, repeat. Before I something allowed me to stop and consider, I don’t think I realized that I had gotten on this particular express train. I didn’t wake up thinking, “Oh, I’m going to complain as much as possible, make myself as miserable as possible and then wear myself out to the point of exhaustion.”

So, now I’m trying to rethink this pattern, to notice when I get caught up in it, to make sure I take the time to stop and practice and check my reactivity and my assumptions. And to ask, am I doing enough to nurture myself, take care of myself and slow down. And am I doing things that I find fun? Am I spending enough time alone to recharge? Am I doing things to actually make my life easier instead of make it more difficult? All good questions to ask. Always good to question. Without questioning, we only repeat patterns. When we stop, when we pause, when we question, we can actually change patterns.

Speaking of which, I’m committing to getting back in the pattern of regular blog entries!